I Won't Hide My Catholic Motherhood Under a Bushel

     

 
         I know it sounds crazy but I have been thinking about what I am going to say when the mothers of my son's preschool classmates find out that I am pregnant with my fourth child. You see, all of us moms gather in the hallway outside our children's preschool class before pick-up and we always get to talking. I keep imagining that one day when my pregnancy is noticeable that I may get some questions and comments. What does a Catholic mom who is open to life, who doesn't believe in using contraception ever or using NFP unless I have a "just" reason to say to women who may not know about the Catholic Church's teachings on married love?

        I know I shouldn't stress about something that may never happen but I have recently realized my responsibility to share the truth with others as a Catholic witness. I am ashamed to admit that in the past, I have secularized my answers so people would accept them and therefore accept me. Like when another mom asked me if I worked and I gave the more acceptable excuse that I didn't work because I didn't  have family nearby to help with childcare but the truth of the matter is that I don't work because I am really attached to my kids and really attached to mothering my children myself all day, everyday. Imagine if I bore my truth to this mom that motherhood is more important to me than money and success. Instead, I hid my love of motherhood in a world that needs to hear that kids are important and motherhood is important. I hid my light under a bushel.

         So, my imagined conversation with my son's classmates moms aside, I know I can count on someone in my social circle or a non-practicing Catholic family member making a comment or asking a question about me having my fourth child. I know it is my responsibility to answer the question honestly and well. After much reflection, this is what I wish I could explain:

        I am a Catholic. My husband and I have been led by the Holy Spirit and Catholic teaching to let God give us our children in our marriage as He wills it. In our eleven years of marriage, God has given and He has taken away. God has given us children at the times we willed them. He has taken children away when we wished they could've stayed. He has given us children when we didn't feel quite ready. God has made us wait painstakingly long for children we yearned for. Being open to life in our marriage, means we accept God's will and God's timing for the children He gives us and takes away from us. It is hard but it is beautiful to cooperate with God's will.

       


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